semperfiona: (dilbert)
Yesterday morning I went to talk to a coworker of mine, and I found a small display near his cube.

I reproduce it below.
robertROBERT

A dollar bill, labeled JOHNNY

A sheet of paper, labeled JIMMY

Yesterday afternoon, I sent my friend this picture, since I did not have the necessary materials at hand to create it on his desk.

roger
semperfiona: (amber)
In the living room at Rivendell, last night...

Chris: What's green and red and goes round and round and round?

Me: A frog in a Cuisinart. I've met the sphinx.

Memorandum

Dec. 4th, 2009 10:56 am
semperfiona: (holly snow)
Re: Frozen precipitation

Dear $deity/ies,

Please desist immediately from the production of frozen precipitation. We the undersigned have neither received the appropriate four (4) copies of the Frozen Precipitation Authorization Form nor have we approved it.

Thank you for your kind attention.

Signed,
Fiona
Secretary, Frozen Precipitation Authorization Board

PS Please note for the future that blank Frozen Precipitation Authorization Forms may be acquired from the district office at Eta Centauri V and are required to be submitted seven (7) days in advance of the proposed precipitation.

PPS Temperature Reduction Authorization Forms are also available at the same location and must be submitted in triplicate fifteen (15) days in advance of the proposed reduction to the Temperature Reduction Authorization Board.
semperfiona: (scrabble)
Not satisfied with just using baguettes to defend my friends against zombie attack, I have now expanded the ninja baguette empire to include avian emissaries, and the range of our defenses extends to Switzerland, where a brave soldier in the aerial corps has successfully prevented the Large Hadron Collider from destroying the world for at least another month.
semperfiona: (misbehave)
Debbie was talking about her iRobot falling down the stairs, and then Brian mentioned that he'd like to watch the movie again, and then Terry asked if he'd seen the chopper that American Choppers made for Will Smith. And commented that Will Smith had said, "This is a motorcycle that makes me want to sit on it naked."

I'll be in my bunk.
semperfiona: (work motto)
In something of a coincidence, since there was a conversation about cows at dinner last night, too...And no, I did not bring up the topic. I can't remember who did. But anyway, at the daily meeting, somehow the subject of Cow Tipping comes up.

Terry: "Hey, you're from Wisconsin, did you ever tip cows?"

Someone: "Is it even really possible?"

Me: "Cow weighs nearly a ton, you'd need some damn good leverage." [my weight estimate is doubtless wildly inaccurate]

Amanda: "I think it's probably like hunting snipes."

So Matt goes off and comes back with this in an email:

from Wikipedia

According to popular belief, cows can easily be pushed over without much force because they are slow-moving, slow-witted and weak-legged, have a high center of gravity and sleep standing up. Numerous publications have debunked cow-tipping as a myth. Cows do not sleep standing up, nor do their knees lock, making the act of cow-tipping impossible.[2]

A variety of calculations have been performed to determine if cow tipping is physically possible.[1][3] A study led by Margo Lillie, a doctor of zoology at the University of British Columbia, concludes that cow tipping by a single person is impossible. Her calculations found that it would take at least two people to apply enough force to push over a cow if the cow does not react and reorient its footing. If the cow does react, it would take at least four people to push it over. Professor Lillie noted that, contrary to the myth, cows are well aware of their surroundings (they have excellent senses of smell and hearing) and are very difficult to sneak up upon.[1][4][5][6]


Just thought all y'all would want to know that.

Awake

Jan. 7th, 2009 11:54 am
semperfiona: (work motto)
I was having a really hard time driving to work today, since I didn't have time to get any coffee and the sleepies were attacking with ferocity. But that changed suddenly...

When I got to the third floor I could see a group of guys hanging around Rob's cube. And when I got there, what should I see but Terry brandishing a machete!

Today is Rob's last day before shipping out to a couple weeks of refresher training and then he's off to Iraq. The guys and Amanda got him a backpack full of useful stuff for his journey: mosquito netting, a camo sippy cup, a baggie labeled "personal sticky bomb kit", a plastic pith helmet, and the aforementioned machete.
semperfiona: (balloons)
We have some crazy and wonderful friends. Yesterday, one of them blogged this, and ever since I had seen the post I wondered whether she was referring to us and our house. So we were sort of expecting to find something unusual in our house when we got home from Iowa today...

First thing we saw:


And up in Tammie's office:


So of course, she popped it:


The signed confession:


Balloonacy!


More photos
semperfiona: (higgledy piggledy)
This is a silly thing that popped into my head as I was falling asleep last night.

Found your name on Google
Bought a Priceline ticket
Showed up at your wedding
Chatting with your cousin

Your sister Sue is twin boys Jack and John
Your evil step mom's just your mom
Who'da thought that Iowa
Had sixteen Jordan Browns?
semperfiona: (demon baby)
Rosa> Mommy! There's hippogriffs in my soup! Come see!

Rosa> See! Hippogriffs!

Mommy> Just looks like noodles to me...

Rosa> No Mommy, look, it's Egyptian hippogriffs!
semperfiona: (balloons)
Q: Why did the cactus cross the road?
A: )
semperfiona: (misbehave)
Send reinforcements! The living room is a battlezone. Chris and Rosa are firing automatic Nerf weapons at each other, and occasionally at me. I am also armed, but taking a pause to telegraph for reinforcements. S
semperfiona: (demon baby)
Yesterday Rosa and I played hide-and-seek for a while, and then we stopped to put away clothes. Chris was watching TV and folding laundry in the TV room. While I was embroiled in my pile of laundry, she said "It's my turn to hide" and took off. Some while later, the following ensued.

Cellphone: *bingle*
Text message from Chris: "Where you @?"
Thumbs: *type type* "Bedroom"

Chris: "Are you hiding or is she?"
Me: "Her. I'm putting away."
Chris: "Aaah. When does seeking start?"
Me: "Shrug"

I then left off the Putting Away and commenced Seeking. Found the baby in the same place I had hidden the previous turn: Chris's closet.

This morning, I found the following message on my phone from yesterday afternoon.

Chris: "I only ask because my closet is getting impatient, and a little scared of the dark."
semperfiona: (demon baby)
Yesterday morning. Telling Rosa about our plans for this week, which involve much cleaning and baking.

Rosa: "Oh, I love baking. I inherited my daddy's pants."

Tammie & Me: *Muh?*

Rosa: "Jeans!"

Tammie: "You're so blogging this."
semperfiona: (work motto)
Randy, in yellow polo with affixed Chiquita sticker: I wore my Halloween costume.
Deb: Stay away from Joe.[1]
Randy: I'm not going there. I'm just not.
Me: *goes there*

[1]Joe is a well-known banana fiend. Back when Deb and I both worked for him, we once teased him by surreptitiously leaving a banana on his desk every day for a month, until the last day when we left a whole bunch. He ate them, of course.
semperfiona: (work motto)
On the installation of wall-size whiteboards in the nearest conference
room: "Wow, we could even hold a design meeting!"

On the offer of leftover Black Forest cake: "I'm not really a chocolate
cake guy."
semperfiona: (Default)
Rosa: Can I have icecream now?
Mommy: Not unless you finish your vegetables.
Chris: (How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?!)

Rosa complained that she didn't like the way they're cooked but eventually ate some of the vegetables.

Rosa: Now can I have icecream?
Mommy: You haven't finished your vegetables.
Rosa: I ate half of them...
Chris: Then you can have half of ice cream. Do you want ice, or cream?
semperfiona: (dragon)
"Turn-taking butt-touchers!"

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