(no subject)

[semperfiona]

I'm not having an especially good day. It's gotten a bit better, but I'm
still sort of down and disillusioned. I was nearly in pain from hunger
when I got to work. Disappointingly, there were no donuts in the donut
basket even though there had been yesterday evening. But I have apples
here and I ate one of them. Still need to get some protein asap.

Went to the gyn yesterday afternoon, having not ovulated for another
cycle. She says this happens sometimes and not to worry, but I can't
convince myself to believe her yet. Nonetheless, she's given me a scrip
for Clomid which I'm to take next cycle. Then I have to go back for yet
another progesterone level test and a physical exam to make sure my
ovaries are not enlarged. If those are both okay (i.e. ovulation does
occur and ovary enlargement does not), I get a refill of the Clomid
scrip for the following month and we try IUI then. July-ish, assuming
more normal cycle lengths. She gave me a drug for that, too.

I'm annoyed at how long it's taking before I even get to *try*; I'd
hoped to have had at least two procedures by now (or better yet a
pregnancy) but I'm still in wait mode. And I'm annoyed with myself, too,
for waiting so long before starting the process. We decided late last
year to do this; I wanted to wait until we were done moving before
getting pregnant, and completely failed to think of the potential need
for various time-dependent tests or of the potential non-cooperation of
my own body.

I've been pregnant twice before, and neither time did I have any
difficulty in conceiving. But now, I have had two annovulatory cycles in
a row and I have to take fertility drugs. I can remember back in
1998-1999, when getting ready to try to have a baby, I asked the doctor
whether my irregular cycle indicated any potential fertility issues. She
said not, and my experience corresponded. But now I'm wondering whether
I was just lucky.

And then I think about the difficulties some of you are having trying to
conceive and I feel like a heel. I'm just starting on this path, I
should give it time and maintain hope.

Sigh.

I did say I was feeling down. I should go eat that snack I mentioned.

Comments

It's not easy.

[mtfierce.livejournal.com]

I was about ready to give up (did the Clomid, knew my husband was still fertile) when I went to the fertility specialist. He was not friendly, not supportive, not anything like someone looking at the awesomeness of creating life, but looking at what might be wrong with my husband and I as human machines. [shakes head]

So, I went home, disappointed. I mean, it's silly, it's not like I "deserved" a baby, and I felt selfish and scared and just really chaotic about it. I started colouring some in my colouring book (it's a relaxation thing) and on the TV, out of nowhere, they started talking about acupuncture for infertility, and while I was a skeptic, I figured, "Hey, it's less expensive, and the lady who does it is friendlier." Which made all the difference, really.

My Pixie Fierceness turns two o'er the weekend.

[jilly-bear.livejournal.com]

You should have looked at our basket - we still have donuts!

Whenever I have a hankerin for something in particular and we don't have it in our basket - I go looking at the other break rooms. I usually find it somewhere! Besides, then you can pop in a say 'HI' to me and Chris! :)

[submarine-bells.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it takes a while to get to the point where one can actually go ahead with various procedures such as IUI. It's a pain, isn't it? Still, on the bright side, if you spend a couple of cycles on clomid and it works, it saves you the expense and discomfort of a round or two of IUI. One of my sisters had similar difficulties to you (ie had one child but then had difficulty conceiving a second); so she went onto clomid, and bang, she was pregnant.

I hope it works that way for you!

[ohari.livejournal.com]

I would knockyou up if I could,love....I would I would....(Wanna try?)

[semperfiona]

Well, as ohari alludes, he's been fixed. We're going the anonymous donor route. I've been following your posts about IUI; it doesn't sound nice at all. Not "It's nothing" like the nurse practitioner said. *sigh*

[submarine-bells.livejournal.com]

Bear in mind that my experience of IUI may not be typical. In fact it almost certainly isn't. I have severe endometriosis with a big ole lesion very close to my cervix. Anything that tries to poke around that area is painful for me. But most folk don't have that, and I gather that it's not so much of a drama for them.