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Thanksgiving weekend
Nov. 30th, 2017 02:57 pmMy parents came to visit for Thanksgiving. As usual, it was a pleasant visit while also very stressful and fraught. They're evangelical Christians, and I'm ... not. The exact relationship between Chris and Tammie and me remains unspoken out loud, although we're less and less careful about references to "our bedroom".
But we do find common ground and topics of agreement despite that. In fact, politically, they've gotten more liberal with age rather than the opposite. I am unendingly grateful that Fox Geezer Syndrome has not infected them. Instead, my mom and dad work in an immigration advocacy office, which means that they help people with their visa or green card or citizenship applications, and sometimes have to tell them that they're sorry, but current law means they have no recourse to change their status with the US government.
Dad's been vocally anti-Trump since the primary season, and told me last August that "they've turned me into a Democrat!" (I said, "I hope it sticks!") Both he and mom were lifelong Republicans, but in conversation at dinner Friday night he told me he's glad I'm out there protesting, because he can't. Partly due to his age and physical disabilities, and partially because the immigration work he does is sponsored by a church which would not allow direct political action. I did refrain from mentioning that one of the protests I attended had been in support of Planned Parenthood. I think reproductive rights are likely to be a bridge too far for them.
After dinner Friday we took them to a Miss Jubilee concert. She does covers of 1920's and 1930's music -- which turns out to be soaked in double entendre, making for a slight case of consternation on my part. But these are the same parents who took high school Fiona to see "Blaze Starr", about Huey Long's affair with a prostitute, and who took 2003 me to the Erotic Art museum in Lima (pre-columbian dildos and ceramic renditions of people having sex as well as people with nasty STI's). I can't quite figure that part out.
During intermission of the show, I was telling mom and dad that I appreciate Charis because all three of the directors we've had so far have been very encouraging and welcoming no matter one's talent level, never ever saying things like "stand in the back and mumble/mouth the words" like [name redacted] the youth choir director at Elmbrook Church told me when I was in said choir. He said he felt I had been treated badly by her, and then went on to say that he felt I had been badly treated by the church in numerous ways. "The thing about Christians," dad said, "is that they're human. People are sometimes badly hurt by churches and are turned off for ever. For example, your mom's sister Karen." And obvious subtext, utterly unvoiced by either of us, "and also you."
He went on to apologize to me on behalf of the church which they still attend, and which employs them both in their immigration ministry. "As I said the other day, we'd be looking for a different church if..." (He hates the music. No more hymnals, no more choir, usually highly amplified and very repetitive. I hate it too, the few times I've attended with them recently.)
Other things from the weekend. I baked two pies, both from new-to-me recipes spotted on facebook, and both were amazing and received my mom's highest cooking compliment: "Can I have the recipe?"
https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1017817-cranberry-curd-tart
https://shakespeareandbeyond.folger.edu/2017/11/14/pumpkin-pie-recipe-17th-century-england/
Mom and Dad had told me they would take us all out to Thanksgiving dinner, so we went to Maggiano's, which was lovely. I chose them because among all the available options, they had the most foods that Chris could eat. He doesn't do poultry or large quantities of meat, but Maggiano's had pastas as well so he could eat those.
But we do find common ground and topics of agreement despite that. In fact, politically, they've gotten more liberal with age rather than the opposite. I am unendingly grateful that Fox Geezer Syndrome has not infected them. Instead, my mom and dad work in an immigration advocacy office, which means that they help people with their visa or green card or citizenship applications, and sometimes have to tell them that they're sorry, but current law means they have no recourse to change their status with the US government.
Dad's been vocally anti-Trump since the primary season, and told me last August that "they've turned me into a Democrat!" (I said, "I hope it sticks!") Both he and mom were lifelong Republicans, but in conversation at dinner Friday night he told me he's glad I'm out there protesting, because he can't. Partly due to his age and physical disabilities, and partially because the immigration work he does is sponsored by a church which would not allow direct political action. I did refrain from mentioning that one of the protests I attended had been in support of Planned Parenthood. I think reproductive rights are likely to be a bridge too far for them.
After dinner Friday we took them to a Miss Jubilee concert. She does covers of 1920's and 1930's music -- which turns out to be soaked in double entendre, making for a slight case of consternation on my part. But these are the same parents who took high school Fiona to see "Blaze Starr", about Huey Long's affair with a prostitute, and who took 2003 me to the Erotic Art museum in Lima (pre-columbian dildos and ceramic renditions of people having sex as well as people with nasty STI's). I can't quite figure that part out.
During intermission of the show, I was telling mom and dad that I appreciate Charis because all three of the directors we've had so far have been very encouraging and welcoming no matter one's talent level, never ever saying things like "stand in the back and mumble/mouth the words" like [name redacted] the youth choir director at Elmbrook Church told me when I was in said choir. He said he felt I had been treated badly by her, and then went on to say that he felt I had been badly treated by the church in numerous ways. "The thing about Christians," dad said, "is that they're human. People are sometimes badly hurt by churches and are turned off for ever. For example, your mom's sister Karen." And obvious subtext, utterly unvoiced by either of us, "and also you."
He went on to apologize to me on behalf of the church which they still attend, and which employs them both in their immigration ministry. "As I said the other day, we'd be looking for a different church if..." (He hates the music. No more hymnals, no more choir, usually highly amplified and very repetitive. I hate it too, the few times I've attended with them recently.)
Other things from the weekend. I baked two pies, both from new-to-me recipes spotted on facebook, and both were amazing and received my mom's highest cooking compliment: "Can I have the recipe?"
https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1017817-cranberry-curd-tart
https://shakespeareandbeyond.folger.edu/2017/11/14/pumpkin-pie-recipe-17th-century-england/
Mom and Dad had told me they would take us all out to Thanksgiving dinner, so we went to Maggiano's, which was lovely. I chose them because among all the available options, they had the most foods that Chris could eat. He doesn't do poultry or large quantities of meat, but Maggiano's had pastas as well so he could eat those.
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