Why in the hell am I still awake?

[semperfiona]

The double espresso (with irish creme and creme de cacao) was at eight o'clock! That is no reason to still be awake after three am. I've tried everything. Counting assorted mammals, giving myself an orgasm (and a nice one it was, too) but the only thing I manage to do is stay awake.

From my sleepless brain, a new(?) euphemism: trouser schnauzer.