(no subject)

[semperfiona]

I sent my dad an email from my webmail access yesterday, with the return address name of "Fiona Maple" attached as always. He now asks:

Dad> Who's Fiona Maple?

me> Me of course.

Dad> So I gathered. What's with all the diffent names?

Why am I so irrationally frightened by this question from him?

Comments

[wldrose.livejournal.com]

I cant talk about your relationship with your dad perhaps I can help with the name thing.

Names are power, it is one of the oldest traditions we have in human socity (think Adam naming the animels in the bible) There is the concept of Knowing some ones name is in some ways knowing them and owning them. “Never tell a witch your name she can harm you if she knows it.” is a concept in almost any community.

How we are perceived is influenced by our name. I know if I had been called Daisy like I all most was, rather than Ashley, my life growing up in 1970’s NYC would have been very different.

In some communities (such as SCA, Fandome, Rainbow tribe) we choose our name. This comes after thought and work, we try to find a bit of ourselves to put in to words. And an assumed name has power over us because it is us, a bit of our heart on display.

All things being equal your dads question in some ways may have brought up other questions. I mean by using a name other than your family name you are distancing your self from them if not outright refuting your bond with them. So these questions come up

Who am I?
Who is my family?
Will he or my blood kin reject me for a small distancing?
Can I be my own person?
Must I tell him the reasons for why I made these choices

All of theses are scary things? So its no wonder that his question makes you uneasy.

Ash