Resolution
Jan. 1st, 2002 09:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
semperfionaI'm really not making any resolutions this year, but I suppose the one thing I would like to accomplish this year is "resolution". I've been thinking about this for a couple of days now.
I want to make a point of resolving some relationships I have that are in a state of uncertainty: to find a comfortable place for us. This means I will have to strive to communicate better, not to bottle up my feelings until it's too late, and also be willing to accept the answers I'm given. That may be very hard in some cases. But the uncertainty is also hard.
Funny. In some ways the exciting thing about NRE is exactly that. But NRE is a different order of uncertainty: an openness to potential and possibility. What I'm thinking of is a feeling that the possibilities are closing without my knowledge, that my hopes are unfounded. And yet they may not be, so I cannot give them up entirely. I'm left not knowing whether to push or back off, whether to dream or to grieve. I'm walking in fog in these particular cases.
And even so, there's not a lot I feel I can do, but I need to take the risk, make my own feelings clear and ask the questions that have been haunting me for a long time. That is my resolution for 2002.
I want to make a point of resolving some relationships I have that are in a state of uncertainty: to find a comfortable place for us. This means I will have to strive to communicate better, not to bottle up my feelings until it's too late, and also be willing to accept the answers I'm given. That may be very hard in some cases. But the uncertainty is also hard.
Funny. In some ways the exciting thing about NRE is exactly that. But NRE is a different order of uncertainty: an openness to potential and possibility. What I'm thinking of is a feeling that the possibilities are closing without my knowledge, that my hopes are unfounded. And yet they may not be, so I cannot give them up entirely. I'm left not knowing whether to push or back off, whether to dream or to grieve. I'm walking in fog in these particular cases.
And even so, there's not a lot I feel I can do, but I need to take the risk, make my own feelings clear and ask the questions that have been haunting me for a long time. That is my resolution for 2002.
