GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan. 6th, 2002 04:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
semperfionaI could just strangle Ray.
He's calling me secretive and thickheaded, over and over and over, because I said I don't think it's any of his mortgage company's business the details of my loan on the house. I had told him that if they need that information they need to call me and ask for it. He's telling me that "It's only a five-minute job, you can call them and fax over the information." I said, "It's none of their fucking business, dammit!" For once he didn't yell at me for swearing (probably because Rosa wasn't there). We went around and around on this. And then he has the audacity to tell me that refusing this information is the lowest possible thing I could do to him, but why should he expect any better, I've betrayed his trust in "all ways" over the last two or three years. He doesn't know anything, he doesn't know me at all. The more this goes on I think he never did.
He loves to manipulate me into strong emotions, and then accuse me of overreacting, of being a horrible person. What was it...oh yeah. This morning when he came to collect Rosa. "Is her diaper clean?" As if I'd leave her going around in a dirty diaper. "Why aren't you ready yet? You said you were going out at nine." Like it's his business if I chose to go out in my bathrobe. And the piece de resistance. "You're in a bad mood, I don't want you in a bad mood when you come over later." He put me in the bad mood!
Why I was going over there at all: to go through some of the smaller stuff in the house and decide who would get it. Once again, he whined and fussed and said things like "But I'm using it." or "I want it" so that he ended up with most things that weren't definitively mine, and even a few things that were, just because I didn't want to fight him. As ever, I still give in to him way too much.
The fight I've just re-enacted at the beginning of this post happened as I was leaving. We had gone to the library to make a copy of the list, and I brought up the subject of his house. Stupid of me, it gave him a chance to start in on me. "You're putting my loan in jeopardy," he kept saying. When I said, "You're not staying in the house," he told me I was threatening him. "It's just a fact," I said. Because he most certainly is not going to stay in my house beyond the agreed date. I will change the locks and put his things out in the lawn if I have to, but I didn't say that, did I.
The upshot of all this. He never knew me at all. He thinks I have no ethics at all, just because my morals and his are different, and that offends me whenever I see him. There is no chance of our ever being friends. It's hard enough just being cordial.
Oh, the other thing he did. When we got in the car to go to the library, I had some things on the seat. He told me to move them, that he wouldn't touch them. I said, "you act like my things have cooties." He said, "they do. I want to stay as far away as possible from your personal life." I said, "Which is why you ask me things like 'where were you and who were you with'!"
The sad thing is that this has totally ruined the good mood I had after going on my artist date this morning. I went iceskating, and then to the Titanic artifacts exhibit. I was "Mrs John (Annie) Sage", and I drowned, with my husband and two children.
He's calling me secretive and thickheaded, over and over and over, because I said I don't think it's any of his mortgage company's business the details of my loan on the house. I had told him that if they need that information they need to call me and ask for it. He's telling me that "It's only a five-minute job, you can call them and fax over the information." I said, "It's none of their fucking business, dammit!" For once he didn't yell at me for swearing (probably because Rosa wasn't there). We went around and around on this. And then he has the audacity to tell me that refusing this information is the lowest possible thing I could do to him, but why should he expect any better, I've betrayed his trust in "all ways" over the last two or three years. He doesn't know anything, he doesn't know me at all. The more this goes on I think he never did.
He loves to manipulate me into strong emotions, and then accuse me of overreacting, of being a horrible person. What was it...oh yeah. This morning when he came to collect Rosa. "Is her diaper clean?" As if I'd leave her going around in a dirty diaper. "Why aren't you ready yet? You said you were going out at nine." Like it's his business if I chose to go out in my bathrobe. And the piece de resistance. "You're in a bad mood, I don't want you in a bad mood when you come over later." He put me in the bad mood!
Why I was going over there at all: to go through some of the smaller stuff in the house and decide who would get it. Once again, he whined and fussed and said things like "But I'm using it." or "I want it" so that he ended up with most things that weren't definitively mine, and even a few things that were, just because I didn't want to fight him. As ever, I still give in to him way too much.
The fight I've just re-enacted at the beginning of this post happened as I was leaving. We had gone to the library to make a copy of the list, and I brought up the subject of his house. Stupid of me, it gave him a chance to start in on me. "You're putting my loan in jeopardy," he kept saying. When I said, "You're not staying in the house," he told me I was threatening him. "It's just a fact," I said. Because he most certainly is not going to stay in my house beyond the agreed date. I will change the locks and put his things out in the lawn if I have to, but I didn't say that, did I.
The upshot of all this. He never knew me at all. He thinks I have no ethics at all, just because my morals and his are different, and that offends me whenever I see him. There is no chance of our ever being friends. It's hard enough just being cordial.
Oh, the other thing he did. When we got in the car to go to the library, I had some things on the seat. He told me to move them, that he wouldn't touch them. I said, "you act like my things have cooties." He said, "they do. I want to stay as far away as possible from your personal life." I said, "Which is why you ask me things like 'where were you and who were you with'!"
The sad thing is that this has totally ruined the good mood I had after going on my artist date this morning. I went iceskating, and then to the Titanic artifacts exhibit. I was "Mrs John (Annie) Sage", and I drowned, with my husband and two children.
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no subject
Date: 2002-01-06 07:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-01-06 08:01 pm (UTC)