A surprising phone call
Jan. 24th, 2002 10:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
semperfionaKirk called tonight, surprising me. I'd only called him a week and a half ago, and it had been almost a year before that since we'd talked. The old feelings are still there. On both sides.
We sort of sat there for a good ten minutes without being able to say much to one another, embarrassed by the open admission of something that had been suppressed for a long while, but eventually managed to not only talk about our feelings but also have a normal conversation.
The vague and distant possiblity of a physical or cyber relationship still remains, but there are impediments and good reasons not to. In any case we need to bridge the distance that has grown between us over the last few years before thinking seriously of such a thing. But I think our friendship will recover in time. Its roots are deep; twelve years we've known each other, and we still share something that can't be called anything but love, however difficult it is to express and whatever shape it may take.
Thinking about it right now I think the thing I miss most of all is the comfortable way we used to cuddle and rub each other's backs and things like that. What I think of as cuddlefriendly behavior. It needn't imply anything beyond close affectionate friendship. If someday we find ourselves free to pursue something else, well I'm not closing that door. But I hope we can have the touch back, at least, and the comfortableness of being in each other's presence.
We sort of sat there for a good ten minutes without being able to say much to one another, embarrassed by the open admission of something that had been suppressed for a long while, but eventually managed to not only talk about our feelings but also have a normal conversation.
The vague and distant possiblity of a physical or cyber relationship still remains, but there are impediments and good reasons not to. In any case we need to bridge the distance that has grown between us over the last few years before thinking seriously of such a thing. But I think our friendship will recover in time. Its roots are deep; twelve years we've known each other, and we still share something that can't be called anything but love, however difficult it is to express and whatever shape it may take.
Thinking about it right now I think the thing I miss most of all is the comfortable way we used to cuddle and rub each other's backs and things like that. What I think of as cuddlefriendly behavior. It needn't imply anything beyond close affectionate friendship. If someday we find ourselves free to pursue something else, well I'm not closing that door. But I hope we can have the touch back, at least, and the comfortableness of being in each other's presence.
