Limericks!

[semperfiona]

In honor of St. Patrick's Day later this month, and because I could use
some laughs, I propose a contest: dueling limericks at forty paces.
Enter yours here as a comment, and the best one, as judged by yours
truly on March 17th, will receive a St.-Pat's-themed prize (small and
inexpensive, most likely). Extra credit for "Irish" themes. (Yes, I put
it in scare quotes on purpose. I'm thinking more of the green shiny
silliness that pervades the USA during the month of March than of actual
Ireland.)

Here's one to hopefully get you inspired.

A randy young boyo called Sean
Fucked his girl every day on the lawn;
When his hairy white ass
Started growing green grass
The girl said, "It's time I moved on."

Comments

[beckyzoole.livejournal.com]

A red-headed lass from Kilkenny
Once had just a few beers too many.
She went out on a spree
And came home, goodness me,
Polished bright as a shiny new penny!

Rewrite:

[beckyzoole.livejournal.com]

A red-headed lass from Kilkenny
Once drunk up a few beers too many.
She went out on a spree
And came home, goodness me,
Polished bright as a new copper penny!

[bbwoof.livejournal.com]

Are clean limericks allowed?

(There are some so-called purists who maintain that ALL limericks are dirty.)

[semperfiona]

I did not specify that they had to be dirty, so sure.

Ok, here are three for you!

[jilly-bear.livejournal.com]

There once was a maiden named STAR
Admired by men near and far
For her lily white ass
Which she sat in the grass
Cause it would not fit into her car


Wee Johnny went out to the park
To meet a young lady on a lark
But once he got there
He only could stare
For her bite was much worse than her bark.


There was a young lad named O’Toole
Who got into trouble at school
He kissed all the girls
Then yanked on their curls
Then ran away home like a fool!

[bbwoof.livejournal.com]

Proof positive that my limericks are just as bad as my double-dactyls:

A coed we know named Malisky
Went to parties and got very frisky.
She explained with a grin,
"Though my daddy swilled gin,
"I get my kicks from the uisghe!"



Happy St. Apostate's Day!

[bbwoof.livejournal.com]

This one is not Irish, not dirty, and not original, but it's fun all the same:

There once was a girl from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass.
It was not round and pink
As you probably think,
But 'twas grey, had long ears, and ate grass.