(no subject)

[semperfiona]

I'm feeling betrayed by my body. 2/25 - 4/4. 39 days and counting, and
still no period. Nor am I pregnant. In fact, the progesterone test that
was done last Thursday says I didn't even ovulate this (overlong) cycle.
It is possible that I really did but it was so long ago that the test
doesn't show any change anymore. It's supposed to be done on day 20/21
of a "normal" cycle, so the test is less likely to be accurate. Still,
given the odd cycle, I probably didn't.

I'm afraid that this is a sign I'm heading into menopause already. Every
time I think about it I'm feeling a weird turmoil of emotions. I have to
keep reminding myself that I've always had these weird long cycles
occasionally (the last time I had one it lasted from 8/12/05 to 9/28/05:
47 days), and it doesn't mean my next cycle will be unusual in any
respect.

But I'm stuck in a waiting pattern here. Can't start using the ovulation
predictors until eleven days into a new cycle, and Diane wants to redo
the progesterone test on day 20. She doesn't want to do an IUI until the
next cycle after that. I donwannahafta wait anymore!

She didn't say, but it seems to me that this will increase the
likelihood that Diane and Cat will want to put me on Clomid.

I had some small hope that my choice of a bright red shirt this morning
meant it would finally come today--I've noticed that my subconscious
often does that--but no such luck so far.