::rolling on the floor laughing my ass off::

[semperfiona]

Yes, really. I found this so hysterical I had to spell out the header. I was surfing the nerve.com personals, and found this.

longnose_gar "go fishing..." me my goods my habits I am: a man Height: 2'6" Cigarettes: never Looking for: either Weight: 16 lbs Booze: never Interested In: friendship Hair color: scales Drugs: never dating Eye color: black Self-love: never serious relationship Self-deprecation: never play Age: 30 Location: Mississippi River, Missouri Area Code: 314 Occupation: bottom feeder Ethnicity: family Lepisosteidae Star Sign: Pisces Relationship Status: Single you your goods your habits age: 18 - 99 Ethnicity: Bony Fishes the tip of my iceberg Last great book I read: The Complete Guide to Freshwater Fishing. Know thy enemy... Moby Dick. Most humbling moment: When I learned that anglers consider me a trash fish. Favorite on-screen sex scene: The salmon on last week's episode of National Geographic Explorer. The full cloacal nudity was so sexy. Celebrity I resemble most: Flipper, but much smaller, and with a vertical tail fin. Don Knotts in The Incredible Mr. Limpet. Best (or worst) lie I've ever told: 'That worm on a string looks really good! Why don't you bite it?' If I could be anywhere at the moment: The Atchefalaya swamp. Noah's flood. Song or album that puts me in the mood: Country Joe & the Fish Greatest Hits. Anything by Prince. The five items I can't live without: Fish gates in dams. A good weedy area to hide in. Minnows. My air bladder. Feeder streams. Fill in the blanks: Sex is sexy; spawning is sexier. In my bedroom, you'll find: Water. Lampreys. Sediment. why you should get to know me Nothing is better than a little gar-lick. more about who I'm looking for Someone without nets, who's not afraid to jump in the water and get a little wet. You should like to prey on smaller animals, and understand me when I return to my spawning grounds, or eat my young. Just don't call me cold-blooded.