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Dec. 27th, 2002 03:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
semperfionaSifting through the spam folder, I find that I could change my life, with only the investment of a bit of money!
First, I need to Grow your Penis safely and naturally in a pot on the windowsill. I'll have to be careful to remember Where Is It Hanging. And then, of course, I'd want to Enlarge your Penis safely and naturally. Because whatever's worth having is worth having, bigger.
Next, I'll Naturally Increase your Breast Size. And then, women fall all over themselves when they see the new you. But maybe not. I might have to New Age Medicine! look better guaranteed before The opposite sex will start up conversation with you. Either way, I better lay in a stock of Tell Her You Love Her With this inexpensive fine jewelry because I am going to be *busy*!
And when I'm not having all kinds of amazing sex (and I must be, because Watch her screem with joy!), I'll Start up your own business running auctions. They'll teach me all about it at Auction Training Sign UpInfo, if only I could figure out what an upinfo was and how to get one. Or I could Be Columbo instead. Personally I think I'd have preferred to be Sherlock Holmes, but then I'm just that brainy geeky kinda gal.
I'll need to Get a quality extended car Warranty!! because of all the extra miles I'll be putting on my car, between my astonishing social life and my new business, so it's a good thing I can Save hundreds Over Car Dealer Warranties!. And I better make damn sure to take care of that FEEDBACK: terrible cell reception? because people will be *calling* me!
If all that upheaval in my life makes me tear out my hair, there's even important new hair growth and color reparation for me.
But look! I can even get the cash for all this, it's all right here in my mailbox: Home loans & refinancing at very low rates!
First, I need to Grow your Penis safely and naturally in a pot on the windowsill. I'll have to be careful to remember Where Is It Hanging. And then, of course, I'd want to Enlarge your Penis safely and naturally. Because whatever's worth having is worth having, bigger.
Next, I'll Naturally Increase your Breast Size. And then, women fall all over themselves when they see the new you. But maybe not. I might have to New Age Medicine! look better guaranteed before The opposite sex will start up conversation with you. Either way, I better lay in a stock of Tell Her You Love Her With this inexpensive fine jewelry because I am going to be *busy*!
And when I'm not having all kinds of amazing sex (and I must be, because Watch her screem with joy!), I'll Start up your own business running auctions. They'll teach me all about it at Auction Training Sign UpInfo, if only I could figure out what an upinfo was and how to get one. Or I could Be Columbo instead. Personally I think I'd have preferred to be Sherlock Holmes, but then I'm just that brainy geeky kinda gal.
I'll need to Get a quality extended car Warranty!! because of all the extra miles I'll be putting on my car, between my astonishing social life and my new business, so it's a good thing I can Save hundreds Over Car Dealer Warranties!. And I better make damn sure to take care of that FEEDBACK: terrible cell reception? because people will be *calling* me!
If all that upheaval in my life makes me tear out my hair, there's even important new hair growth and color reparation for me.
But look! I can even get the cash for all this, it's all right here in my mailbox: Home loans & refinancing at very low rates!
