semperfiona: A pile of conversation hearts (love hearts)
Yesterday was the fullest busiest day I have had in ... probably ever. I mean, I sang a Black Sabbath song to Ozzy motherfucking Osborne, and that was only the SECOND most important and exciting thing I did yesterday, because I also got MARRIED!

Obviously, I've got some 'splainin to do.

I posted here almost a month ago that Tammie and I had gotten a marriage license. We had not yet set a date or made plans, so over the course of the next couple of weeks we figured that all out, made a reservation for a small private room at a local restaurant and invited our selected witnesses, for 4 o'clock on March 10th.

A little more than a week ago, the president of Charis told us we had been invited to appear on an upcoming episode of Ozzy and Jack's World Detour, to be taped...at noon on March 10th. My first thought was that no way would I be able to do it, but after talking to Tammie and Chris we decided I could make it work.

So I got up early yesterday morning, did my hair and makeup, and went to the nail salon for a manicure. Then I bought breakfast for my family, ran home and ate it with them, and took off for the tv taping, which was held in the church where we normally rehearse.

They rented us choir robes. I'd never worn a choir robe in my life, despite having sung in church choirs in my youth: it just wasn't a thing that our church did. Nor is it a thing that Charis normally does, but the tv show wanted it so *shrug*. We sang Black Sabbath's "Changes" and another song that we did last concert, by one of our own singers who is also a songwriter. Over and over and over we sang them, while they took video from multiple angles and recorded the sound again and again. I doubt I'll ever forget the words to either one, at this point.

Then, at long last, Kelly Osborne came in holding her dog Pauline, talked briefly to our conductor and our current and incoming presidents, and she and the video directors confirmed the plans. We would start out singing our own song, and then after Ozzy came in we would immediately switch to "Changes". And that is what happened; we sang while they filmed Ozzy and fam reacting to our singing. She told us afterward that she cried, and that her dad did as well, that it is a song that is very meaningful to both of them. The audio engineers asked us to sing it a second time, they redid all the video, we got some group photos with Ozzy and Kelly (and the dog), and the whole thing was over before two p.m. The whole shtick is that he's being surprised at where they take him, and we were told that when they brought Ozzy to the church he was like, "Why am I in a church?" The episode is expected to air sometime in late June/July: you'll hear details as soon as I do.

Charis stayed behind for a little while and also recorded a video to be sent to Ellen Degeneres asking her to send us a congratulations video for our 25th anniversary concert (upcoming May 4 & 5), we sang Happy Birthday to the pastor of the church we were in, and I ran away before any of the cleanup. As my chorus sisters knew what was up, no one's going to upset about that.

I got home around two, and spent about an hour decompressing, just hanging out with Rose and playing iphone games. Then it was time to get dressed and ready for the wedding.

Chris married us, as he's ordained with the Universal Life Church, and we had our daughter Rose and Tammie's boyfriend (and my maybe-something-new) Sean as the two witnesses, while Chris's girlfriend Riley took the photos. I'm the one in the tiara, Tammie is the one in the veil.

Photo album here

Tammie and Fiona get married by Chris

I don't really feel much different today; the legal arrangements really aren't supposed to and hopefully really won't make any real difference to our family situation, but these few weeks are kind of a weird liminal space anyway. Just getting the license and making the plans changed something, saying the vows changed something else, but until the license is actually recorded with the state we can't make any paperwork changes, so until then it still feels weirdly pending.

After the ceremony and dinner, we went to see Black Panther, which: amazing! But still only the third most exciting thing of Saturday, so. However, I do recommend the film. Go see it. I appreciate it when a movie gives its antagonist(s) a valid and valuable viewpoint, even if their means are suspect.
semperfiona: (work motto)
I don't know if I can do this justice. But it so neatly exemplifies the kinds of casually-espoused attitudes that make me crazy working here.

One of the young guys in our department, Mike, is getting married later this month or next. As he used to be on my team, Terry and Randy decided to take him golfing yesterday afternoon as kind of a "bachelor party." Okay, that's kinda cool, if you like golf.

Mike didn't show. Quote, his fiancee wouldn't let him, unquote. Whereupon he undergoes a lot of ribbing about being whipped, etc etc. It turns out, she was upset because he had refused to take time off to go babysit some of her nephews last week, and she didn't like him taking time off to play golf when he wouldn't do it for something she wanted.

I don't much like the revenge-taking that that sounds like, but it seems to me that it would have been best to do both things, rather than neither.

What really got my goat, though, was Art telling Mike that his problem was that he hadn't got her "trained". Yes, that exact word. Still, I kept my head down and my nose in my computer, as I usually do when conversations I want nothing to do with are happening around me. (Yesterday, re the election, for example.)

However, this time I didn't get away with pretending I wasn't here. Terry said, "Let's get a woman's perspective...did you hear all that."

I said, "Enough, yeah."

So then I said I thought they were both in the wrong, that it was a matter of give and take, and remarked that the one I really felt was wrong was Art. "I believe in equality. And in any case I'm glad I'm not married to Art."

Art defended himself by pointing out that *he's* been married 40 years, and I'm divorced.
semperfiona: (Default)
This has been sitting in my Drafts folder in Outlook for several weeks now, and is now longer timely to the news story that inspired it, but it might as well get posted.



Hey, [livejournal.com profile] bbwoof, here's a couple links on the "marriage fraud" story I was talking to you about. The first is the story itself; the second is a letter to the editor.

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/stlouiscitycounty/story/635C51E228B306F9862572EE00131C0A?OpenDocument

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/editorialcommentary/story/4D26615043D9AAB3862572F90082AF0A?OpenDocument

Not-very-long story even shorter, a local public defender (Althoffer) wanted to keep his Peruvian same-sex partner (Cerna-Rojas) in the United States. So he convinced (asked?) a willing coworker (Lewis) to marry the partner. Now Althoffer, Lewis, and Lewis's boyfriend (O'Leary) have all lost their jobs, Althoffer is free on $50,000 bail (having surrendered his passport), Cerna-Rojas is back in Peru and may be permanently barred from visiting the US. Lewis and O'Leary haven't been charged.

My favorite part is the quote from the US Attorney: Lewis and Cerna-Rojas "did not act like a married couple".

----
I find this story very distressing. I can't think of any good reason why the government should be in the business of verifying people's marriages against some standard of behavior.

Even more so after I looked at a few websites on marriage fraud. There was one with a list of typical questions that might be asked in a fraud interview. Not unlike the questions that were on the annulment filings, lo these many years ago, really...but at least the church has some reason to be in that business for its own adherents.

Even if "thousands" of people are getting married in order to get residency in the US, I really can't believe that it's a real problem. So what? The new resident still has to pass all the US-entry background checks and so on.

Can you answer these in your own relationship? )

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