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Jan. 21st, 2008 10:22 pmIt's been a very eventful week. Crazy, even. Same day Mom and Dad arrived, I got the text message from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
transplantmom that Jennie had lungs! Chris and Tammie have been able to spend far more time at the hopsital than I have, but I stopped in when I could. She's doing very well.
But what kept me away from the hospital and has been keeping me awake at night for the last two weeks? Mom & Dad left this morning on their way back to Peru, after a visit that lasted nearly a week. I'd been terrified. But it went as well as we could have hoped. Perhaps not as well as one might have dreamed, but far better than we dreaded.
As for Mom and Dad, I had an inkling of the tack they would take when on their first evening, Rosa asked a question about whether they put me in Time Outs, and they said (approximately) that I was old enough to decide on my own what to do. That was as close as they ever came to a statement about our life here.
I never did make a "coming out" statement; I've finally decided that it's not necessary. As long as they're willing to acknowledge that Chris and Tammie are in my life and treat them respectfully--and they did--I don't need to push my parents into confronting something head-on that would only distress them.
Prior to their arrival, I had requested only one thing: an attempt to minimize the use of Army WordsTM in the presence of my folks, as cussing has always tended to make them close up. It was mostly successful. The other thing I said was that I would probably be less inclined to PDA than usual, and so it was. But we didn't cut it off totally, and if Mom & Dad haven't figured out for themselves what our relationship is, the ignorance is willful and not imposed.
We-three took them out to dinner the first night, and conversation was pleasant if a bit strained--but then it often is when trying to get to know someone new whom you have few things in common with. I tried really hard to bring up things they might find mutually interesting, and that seemed to help. By Sunday morning brunch, though, conversation had become far easier, and we all played some card games together and such. Tammie plays pinochle: always the road to Mom and Dad's heart. ;-)
Every time Mom and Dad come to visit St Louis, they make a point of calling on Ray and his parents; they have kept in sporadic touch even since the divorce. I have no issue with this. So Friday, when Ray called to talk about something else, Mom asked me to mention to him that they wanted to get together. He suggested dinner Saturday, and requested/assumed that I would also be there. Not my first choice of dinner company, but okay, whatever. We went to House of India (nom nom nom). Every time that Ray had something he wanted to say to me--or wanted me to listen to--he touched my arm (I had rather stupidly sat where he'd end up next to me). I kept flinching and moving my chair away. When I had just reached the conclusion that I was going to have to call him on it, he stopped.
transplantmom that Jennie had lungs! Chris and Tammie have been able to spend far more time at the hopsital than I have, but I stopped in when I could. She's doing very well. But what kept me away from the hospital and has been keeping me awake at night for the last two weeks? Mom & Dad left this morning on their way back to Peru, after a visit that lasted nearly a week. I'd been terrified. But it went as well as we could have hoped. Perhaps not as well as one might have dreamed, but far better than we dreaded.
As for Mom and Dad, I had an inkling of the tack they would take when on their first evening, Rosa asked a question about whether they put me in Time Outs, and they said (approximately) that I was old enough to decide on my own what to do. That was as close as they ever came to a statement about our life here.
I never did make a "coming out" statement; I've finally decided that it's not necessary. As long as they're willing to acknowledge that Chris and Tammie are in my life and treat them respectfully--and they did--I don't need to push my parents into confronting something head-on that would only distress them.
Prior to their arrival, I had requested only one thing: an attempt to minimize the use of Army WordsTM in the presence of my folks, as cussing has always tended to make them close up. It was mostly successful. The other thing I said was that I would probably be less inclined to PDA than usual, and so it was. But we didn't cut it off totally, and if Mom & Dad haven't figured out for themselves what our relationship is, the ignorance is willful and not imposed.
We-three took them out to dinner the first night, and conversation was pleasant if a bit strained--but then it often is when trying to get to know someone new whom you have few things in common with. I tried really hard to bring up things they might find mutually interesting, and that seemed to help. By Sunday morning brunch, though, conversation had become far easier, and we all played some card games together and such. Tammie plays pinochle: always the road to Mom and Dad's heart. ;-)
Every time Mom and Dad come to visit St Louis, they make a point of calling on Ray and his parents; they have kept in sporadic touch even since the divorce. I have no issue with this. So Friday, when Ray called to talk about something else, Mom asked me to mention to him that they wanted to get together. He suggested dinner Saturday, and requested/assumed that I would also be there. Not my first choice of dinner company, but okay, whatever. We went to House of India (nom nom nom). Every time that Ray had something he wanted to say to me--or wanted me to listen to--he touched my arm (I had rather stupidly sat where he'd end up next to me). I kept flinching and moving my chair away. When I had just reached the conclusion that I was going to have to call him on it, he stopped.
