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Two quotes
Jan. 24th, 2002 09:43 amAll companionship can consist only in the strengthening of two neighboring solitudes, whereas everything that one is wont to call giving oneself is by nature harmful to companionship: for when a person abandons himself, he is no longer anything, and when two people both give themselves up in order to come close to each other, there is no longer any ground beneath them and their being together is a continual falling. --Rainer Maria Rilke
Become the sky.
Take an axe to the prison wall.
Escape.
Walk out like someone suddenly born into color.
Do it now. --Rumi
These two quotes showed up on wombat recently. The first one strikes home because it reminds me of something I tried many times to explain to Ray: he had been fond of telling me (when our life together was better) that I was his everything. When he was trying to keep me from my friends and other activities, he told me that he should be everything to me: "That's what marriage is about."
Being anyone's everything is far too much responsibility for me, and I tried to explain that. He never understood. I don't even want to be Rosa's everything, though dependence in a child is much more understandable and even necessary. That is what makes the parent-child love relationship different from the relationship and love of two adults.
After our breakup, he told me that Rosa is his everything now. That frightened me: if it's too much weight for me, how can a baby be expected to shoulder such a thing? I fear that he will expect far more from her than she is able to give. As for me, I believe that a happy, contented parent, satisfied with her life, will be much better for her in the long run. It is best for both of us if I am complete in myself.
Become the sky.
Take an axe to the prison wall.
Escape.
Walk out like someone suddenly born into color.
Do it now. --Rumi
These two quotes showed up on wombat recently. The first one strikes home because it reminds me of something I tried many times to explain to Ray: he had been fond of telling me (when our life together was better) that I was his everything. When he was trying to keep me from my friends and other activities, he told me that he should be everything to me: "That's what marriage is about."
Being anyone's everything is far too much responsibility for me, and I tried to explain that. He never understood. I don't even want to be Rosa's everything, though dependence in a child is much more understandable and even necessary. That is what makes the parent-child love relationship different from the relationship and love of two adults.
After our breakup, he told me that Rosa is his everything now. That frightened me: if it's too much weight for me, how can a baby be expected to shoulder such a thing? I fear that he will expect far more from her than she is able to give. As for me, I believe that a happy, contented parent, satisfied with her life, will be much better for her in the long run. It is best for both of us if I am complete in myself.
