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Dear BMW Advertising Department:

The breaking up by phone with one's car salesman shtick? Is kinda cute. But no actual human being says "Certified Pre-Owned". And even fewer say "CPO".

When spoken by anyone but a used car salesman, the word is "Used". In case you were wondering.

Me

Moments ago, I was talking to bbwoof about my previous post,
and I used the example of Ulysses S Grant as a case of someone whose
middle name didn't stand for anything. The person who sits behind my
cubicle wall came around to tell me this story.

"I couldn't help overhearing you talking about Ulysses S. Grant...I
think you were thinking of Harry Truman. Ulysses S. Grant was actually
Hiram Ulysses Grant, but he was never called Hiram; he was known as
Lyss. When he wanted to go to the Academy, he was signed up by someone
who couldn't remember his name correctly but remembered the maiden name
of a grandmother or something and wrote it down as Ulysses S. Grant.
Later he tried to change it but was told, 'The government has your name
as Ulysses S. Grant. If you want to go to the Academy, that's what your
name will always be."

It hurts my grammar-nazi brain that, according to two change requests I've received, the corporate standards for our software enforce improper capitalization. And since when has "Non" ever been a word? I am instructed to:

• In "Current Week to Date (Sun Start)", capitalize "to".
• In "Both Incoming and Outgoing", capitalize "and".
• In "Skip in Workflow Mode", capitalize "in".
• In "Resource (Non-screen) Tasks", remove the hyphen (in favor of a space, presumably) and then capitalize "Screen".

I've just been reading Lapsing into a Comma by Bill Walsh. I read the whole thing cover to cover--I'm obsessed with words--and it made me laugh out loud several times.